"In The Water I Am BEAUTIFUL"

Tired, just tired of it all, it’s my turn; I want to be the needy not the needed anymore. She comes in with her issues demanding all the attention which no doubt she gets, taking her pills like a good girl, she seems happy now, not so sad anymore, no one noticing how my sadness and anger are shoved under a fake smile letting them all believe I am a big girl, then there is her and all her problems at home, having to support herself, only because she always wanted more then her family could afford to give her, and although she is on her own she expects everyone to still fend to all of her needs, and no doubt they all do. When is it my turn when will they see, when will their eyes open and let then see who is really in the ditch labeled help me, its tiring feeling like your always lost and getting tangled in all your lies. But there isn’t anything or anyone else to depend on only myself, I have to force this strength and lying to myself saying this will make me tougher and stronger in the end is adding to my tangles, my heart is hurting from the rejection, denial, and disappointment, I can only scream so loud until someone helps me, but why hasn’t anyone helped yet? I am tired of being the shoulder to cry on the voice that always finds the right things to say, and the hands that fix all the problems no matter how they scar me. These are not my problems why do I care why can’t I do these things for myself? Why won’t anyone just help me? It’s just so tiring its time to sleep, time to say goodnight, only making me happy and others regretful.

by:

Lisa Walston